get free or die tryin'.

"Stand naked in front of a mirror for a long time, under unflattering light if possible. Trace the..."

Sat, 18 May 2013 09:21:48 -0400

“

Stand naked in front of a mirror for a long time, under unflattering light if possible. Trace the rises and falls of the little ripples on your skin — the scars, the dimples, the cellulite — and think about how much you try to hide these things in your day-to-day. Wonder why you hate them so much, and if this hate stems from somewhere within yourself, or as a result of being told all your life that it’s wrong to have physical flaws. Wonder what you would think of your body if you never looked at a magazine, if you never thought about celebrities and models, if you never had to wonder where someone would rate you on a scale of 10. Look at yourself until the initial recoil softens, and you can consider your features in a more forgiving frame of mind.

Listen to the music which makes you want to both sob and dance with uninhibited joy, and allow yourself to repeat any song you want as many times as your heart desires. Think of the person you are when you have your favorite song in your headphones and are walking down a street you feel you own completely, swaying your hips and smiling for no good reason — remember how many things you love about yourself during those moments, how much you are willing to forgive in yourself, how confident you are for no good reason. Try to think of confidence as a gift you give yourself when you need it, instead of something you have to siphon from every unreliable source in your life. Dance because the music makes you remember how much you love yourself, not because it allows you to forget the fact that you don’t.

Write a list of all the things you like about yourself, even if you think it’s a self-indulgent and narcissistic activity. Start as early as you like in your life — put down that time you won a trophy playing little league soccer when you were eight and then got an extra-large shake at the DQ on the way home, and don’t feel silly for remembering it. Try to understand how many sources in your life happiness can come from, how many things you could be proud of if you chose to. Ask yourself why you so tightly limit the things you take pride in, why you set your own hurdles for happiness and fulfillment so much higher than you do with anyone else in your life. Let your list go on for pages and pages if you want it to.

Touch and care for yourself with the attention and the patience that you would someone you loved more than life itself. Rub lotion in small circles on your elbows and hands when it is cold and your skin is dry and cracked. Make soup for yourself when your nose is running and curl up, with your favorite movie, in a pile of expertly-stacked pillows. Light a few candles and let their glow flicker against your body. Admire how gentle they are, how delicately their warmth touches you — wonder why you don’t let yourself do the same. Soak your feet in warm water at the end of a long day, until they have forgiven you for walking on them for so long without so much as a “thank you.” Listen to your body when it aches to be touched, and don’t be afraid to give it every orgasm that you may have been too ashamed to ask for in someone else’s bed.

Be patient with yourself, and don’t worry if a switch doesn’t flip in you which abruptly takes you from “crippling self-doubt” to “uncompromising self-love.” Allow yourself all the trepidation and clumsy, uneven infatuation that you would with a promising stranger. Try only to be kinder, to be softer, and to remember all of the things within you which are worth loving. Listen to the voice in the back of your head which tells you, as much out of sadness as anger, “You are ugly. You are stupid. You are boring.” Give it the fleeting moment of attention it so craves, and then remind it, “Even if that were true, I’d still be worth loving.”

”

- Chelsea Fagan, How To Fall In Love With Yourself

(via elle-emeno-pee)
Worth reblogging again.
(via rawwomen)

under no circumstances

Sat, 18 May 2013 06:52:51 -0400

is it okay for my neighbors to be this loud at this hour ON A GODDAMN SATURDAY MORNING.

lmao. wait.

Sat, 18 May 2013 02:34:55 -0400

digging up archived posts for the sole purpose of stirring the pot?!

y’all.

for real? this is the worst thing ever.
I’m going back to just posting instagram pics and asking for crowdsourcing help for the ppl I love.
this is bullshit.

if it isn't love

Sat, 18 May 2013 01:54:13 -0400

why do I feel this way?

me and this headwrap. again.

Fri, 17 May 2013 15:06:26 -0400

me and this headwrap. again.

lazygoddess: Naked Layers: Imagoes Photo by 1NMediaSalon check...

Fri, 17 May 2013 12:34:50 -0400

lazygoddess:

Naked Layers: Imagoes

Photo by 1NMediaSalon

check it!

buncha dudes outside my window talking and shit

Fri, 17 May 2013 00:19:58 -0400

I live on a quiet street where ppl go to work early and shit
so they know they gotta shut the fuck up
should I put my speakers in the window, turn on some porn, and blast away?

it's 11:11

Fri, 17 May 2013 00:18:28 -0400

crispycheezefriez:

i wish a nigga would.

FLAWLESS

"I just know that the next time someone asks me of my intentions simply by fucking (and maybe cooking..."

Thu, 16 May 2013 21:21:39 -0400

“I just know that the next time someone asks me of my intentions simply by fucking (and maybe cooking for) them, I’m likely to reference “Fall In Love (Your Funeral)” by Miss Badu herself: “… we gon’ take this shit from the top/ you’ve got to change jobs/ and change gods,” just to see their reaction.”

- me, “Magic Genitals (Part 1: Erykah Badu),” a guest post I wrote at feministe nearly 2 years ago.

recalling my writing ability. i’m pretty fucking dope at this shit.

i think i wanna start working out again. shoutout to blackamazon.

Thu, 16 May 2013 20:31:05 -0400

cardio

strength training

i miss leg presses and bench presses and deadlifts.

i wanna be able to kick a hole in a motherfucker’s chest when necessary.

i’m doing great w/ endurance (chasing after toddlers for 4+ hours a day has given me much), but i miss the power.

feel free to reblog this

Thu, 16 May 2013 20:19:01 -0400

popca:

marfmellow:

so as some of you know I moved - into a gorgeous 4 bedroom house with my bestie Babs and we’ve decided to make our house a hostel/community space for poc, trans* and queer folks! we just had 3 people move out kind of short notice and we’re trying to find people in the area to contribute and live with us - for however long they need!

so if you know you can contribute food, water, cleaning, home repair, other amazing things that houses do tend to need, let us know!

you can email me @ marfmellow@gmail.com <3

in NOLA

YES.

so my friend is fundraising for his top surgery.

Thu, 16 May 2013 20:15:32 -0400

kiriamaya:

dopegirlfresh:

and I heart my friend. my friend is an amazing unicorn of a person. he deserves to win at EVERYTHING FOREVER. this surgery is part of that winning.

will y’all please, please, PRETTY PLEASE share his gofundme link? it’s super important. thank you.

http://gofundme.com/skyler

I’ll love you forever, tumblr.

xoxoxo,

dopegirlfresh aka flask gordon aka h. trap brown

Booooooooooooooooost

BOOSTING AGAIN!

transphobia coming to toronto: questioning deep green resistance as "radfem rise up" approaches

Thu, 16 May 2013 20:13:14 -0400

transphobia coming to toronto: questioning deep green resistance as "radfem rise up" approaches:

so-treu:

dansphalluspalace:

ericainchoate:

Word has quickly spread on the web in the last couple of days that Rachel Ivey, a member of the Deep Green Resistance environmentalist movement that holds openly transphobic views as “core” princip…

Spread the word: Trans-exterminationists from Deep Green Resistance, as well as an openly transmisogynist fauxminist conference are coming to Toronto.

The fact that Deep Green Resistance worships Lierre Kieth, who has given us such gems as this:

“…how about this. I am really Native American. How do I know? I’ve always felt a special connection to animals, and started building tee pees in the backyard as soon as I was old enough. I insisted on wearing moccasins to school even though the other kids made fun of me and my parents punished me for it. I read everything I could on native people, started going to pow wows and sweat lodges as soon as I was old enough, and I knew that was the real me. And if you bio-Indians don’t accept us trans-Indians, then you are just as genocidal and oppressive as the Europeans.”

Yeah.

This is why we primarily don’t like environmental groups.

^^^

Help a TWOC survive summer

Thu, 16 May 2013 20:06:18 -0400

Help a TWOC survive summer:

mtfbutches:

mocosyamores:

Hi everyone,

I’m getting over my shame and internalized ableism and asking for help. I’m a chronically ill unemployed trans gurl who just left sex work (as in, yesterday) because I finally lost my shit. I’m also moving out of my abusive household in June, around the 15th or so. I don’t have a place to stay yet so the more money I have saved up, the more likely someone is going to trust me to move in with them.

Thanks to sex work and friends donating, I’ve saved up $2,000 for deposits, first/last month’s rent, housing applications, etc. I’m trying to raise another $2,000 to get me through the summer. Starting September/October, I should be receiving financial aid from my university, so that will help.

To give you an idea of where the money is going:
- Rent for a shared room is $500-$550/month
- Utilities are anywhere between $20-$60/month
- I’m limiting myself to $100-$125/month for food
- Gas is $40 a full tank, so about a $80/month if I do this right

I’ll also be looking for a job at this time. I have an open interview tomorrow so hopefully I’ll get called for a second interview!

Important to note! My memoir, Trauma Queen, is aiming to be published on May 31st, 2013. It’s going to cost $20, so if you want to hold off donating to buy the book, that’s totally understandable. I have a collection of writing and art here (x) that you can read/watch, and a zine here (x). I’ll also be selling various articles of clothing, shoes, collector’s items, etc. in the next week or so.

Signal boosting would be appreciated, and any donations would be very helpful. <3

¡Gracias! / Thank you!,
Lovemme/Sirena

-

P.S. (if the link doesn’t work, there’s a donate button on my page.)

Community-based support signal boost. Give what you can and reblog.

The Racist Myth of MSG and 'Chinese Restaurant Syndrome'

Thu, 16 May 2013 20:02:39 -0400

zuky:

This is the story of a racist myth that began with a light-hearted letter to the New England Journal of Medicine in 1968 and subsequently exploded in North American culture — in direct opposition to every shred of scientific evidence — becoming so prevalent that credulous eaters buy into it to the point of experiencing its effects on a purely psychosomatic basis.

It’s often been called “Chinese Restaurant Syndrome” and its premise is that MSG in Chinese food results in unpleasant allergic reactions. Interestingly enough, higher quantities of MSG in non-Chinese foods are not reported to have the same effects. MSG is a naturally occurring amino acid, and some of the highest levels of MSG a North American consumer is likely to ingest come in vine-ripened tomatoes, aged cheese, and dry-aged steak — yet there is no reported medical phenomenon known as “Italian Food Syndrome” or “American Steakhouse Syndrome”.

Monosodium glutamate was first isolated from the seaweed kombu, commonly used in the Japanese broth dashi, by biochemist Kikunae Ikeda of the Tokyo Imperial University in 1908. He named its taste umami because it differed from the five conventional flavours of sweet, salty, sour, bitter, and spicy. Ikeda patented his discovery and MSG became commercially available in 1909. It was found to enhance flavours with one third of the amount of sodium as traditional salt, i.e. sodium chloride. In this sense, monosodium glutamate is probably healthier than sodium chloride because it achieves flavour with reduced sodium levels.

MSG was immediately popular in Asia and became common in the North American food industry after World War II, used in baby food, canned soup, vegetable juice, frozen food, as well as seasoning mix brands such as Accent. Yet somehow in the 1960s, this popular food additive became associated with Chinese food and deemed a health hazard. Why? Because Chinese people, culture, and food have been targeted by widespread and effective racist hate campaigns in North America since the 19th century, buttressed by wild claims that the Chinese are “unclean”, carry diseases, are sexually-deviant opium addicts, inscrutable and sneaky, a Yellow Peril.

The 1968 letter to the New England Journal of Medicine which solidified the myth of MSG was actually written by a Chinese immigrant named Robert Ho Man Kwok, who described “numbness at the back of the neck, gradually radiating to both arms and the back, general weakness and palpitation” after eating in American Chinese restaurants. The letter opened the floodgates to a barage of letters and related articles complaining of headaches, dizziness, paralysis of the throat, tingling in the temples, tightness of the jaw, irregular heartbeat, depression, hyperactivity, and all manner of digestive ailments.

Given this preponderance of anecdotal evidence, numerous scientific studies have been performed since then attempting to identify this “Chinese Restaurant Syndrome”. The funny thing is that no study has ever been able to do so. When people don’t know that they’re consuming MSG, they don’t suffer adverse reactions. All national and international food safety bodies have concluded that MSG is perfectly safe. People in Japan eat MSG every single day and the Japanese have the longest life expectancy in the world.

Fear of MSG is a racist remnant of the Chinese Exclusion era which exists only in North America and has been thoroughly debunked by science. Yet racist socialization is so powerful that people actually experience physical effects such as headaches, depression, and indigestion based solely on their indoctrinated fear of Chinese people and Chinese food. Think it over next time you eat parmesan cheese or a vine-ripened tomato.

oy, i am having some feels.

Thu, 16 May 2013 19:59:49 -0400

feels about [redacted], feels about the bajan, feels about staying single and unattached and (gasp) celibate a bit longer. so many feels.

go find someone else to bother, feels.

did some out loud conjuring

Thu, 16 May 2013 09:11:19 -0400

of what I want in a boothang/ partner/ lover.
over and over again, I kept seeing/ feeling/ hearing [redacted]’s face/ presence/ voice.
cuz that’s who they are, in a lot of ways. all the things that I want.
it’s possible that I’ve already conjured them and I just have to wait.
this is kinda cool.

Photo

Thu, 16 May 2013 09:05:28 -0400

started pulling out my witchy shit

Wed, 15 May 2013 01:52:04 -0400

a nice lil easily-collapsed oshun altar now exists in the corner of my room.

ore yeye o!

heartdashbeats: This week on Heartbeats: Jackie and Berlin!...

Mon, 13 May 2013 23:56:08 -0400

heartdashbeats:

This week on Heartbeats: Jackie and Berlin! <3

Even though Jackie and me grew up in the same city, I became aware of her awesomeness on the internet after we both had moved away (thank u, tumblr). She has definitely been an inspiration for me as a fat woman of colour navigating whiteness and fat phobia, not just through solidarity, but also because she is unapologetically who she is which has been my biggest struggle, hence this blog project. Jackie is also a co-founder of It Gets Fatter, “a body positivity project started by fat queer people of colour, for fat people of colour!” I would highly recommend checking out their videos on Vimeo.

Joining Jackie on this crush-worthy post is her boyfriend, Berlin Reed. He is a chef who just published a really great book called The Ethical Butcher: How Thoughtful Eating Can Change Your World (it’s on Amazon if you can’t access a local shop.) His bio describes him as “a food warrior and radical food theorist bent on decolonizing cuisine.” SWOON. Catch him on tour right now!

On a very personal note: I can’t even tell you how special it was to photograph these two. I have never witnessed brown love like this, queer brown love. The experience made me want to keep searching for brown bodies to project out into the world. This is how we heal.

More photos and full interview on Heartbeats!

awesome.